Cheers to friends

You called me to ask how I was doing
I was surprised you called me
after a long time of no contact
but then we are all busy people
you with your own company
fighting, giving silent treatment and making up with your boyfriend
while I was spending more time
with colleagues, working and playing.

The last time we talked on the phone
we kept saying
Let’s hang out someday
perhaps we were just saying it aloud
with no intention of meeting up
Let’s just be polite and friendly
and distance ourselves from each other
because we had drifted apart
You had complained about your boyfriend
being insensitive and selfish
maybe even chicken for not defending you
from his mother that expected you to take care of their home
while they were away
and you two were there
when they came back
you were scolded for not boiling finished water
not cooking delicious food for them
you were just sleeping there
doing nothing
your boyfriend left you at home with his family
while he enjoyed football matches on flatscreen with his friends.

But that was the last time we talked
This time you sprung up a surprise
When you asked me
“Don’t you know why we were cold to you
when you asked us out?
I want to tell you something
that you did very wrong
How could you take a day leave and go to warehouse sales
in public transport somemore
but you wouldn’t visit our pregnant friend
when she was alone?
Why didn’t you ever offer to take us out in your new car?
Last time you said you would fetch us around
Why weren’t you all more supportive
of J in her wedding?

:-O
I didn’t know you felt this way
why didn’t you tell me this before?
I know you are telling me now
and I’m glad you did
for the truth is more important
than being nice.

Comparing going to warehouse sales
and visiting J
I knew warehouse sales would definately be there
open at 10am till 6pm
with shoes and bags on sale
while I was unsure if J were at home
or even she were at home
would she want me to see her
for she had said before
when she was ready, she would come out.

And how would I take you out in my car
when you didn’t want to come out
because you were angry at me?
Be reasonable.

Supportive how?
Wedding preparations were supposed to be done
by the groom and bride’s family
not friends
We were commanded by J’s mother
to paste this red paper, here there.

What do you mean “You all?”

“You. T. C. You all
You all looked like black faces
Told you all to be early and -”

Who was late?

“T. We depended on her for the camera
and her being ji mui
but she forgot to bring the camera
and she was late!
She cursed J
that J deserved whatever she got
by marrying the husband.”

The husband who dumped her at the end of her pregnancy
just before they were about to get married
the one who chased her even though
he already had another steady girlfriend?
and string her along
making her the 3rd person in their relationship?
the one who ignored her and their newborn baby at the gate
didn’t even want to know and look at them
much less pay for babycare?

“Why didn’t you visit J?
You know I took months
Months!
To talk, message her
with updates of ourselves
coaxing her out
helping her
being there for her
This is friendship
Never once you visited her.”

If she considered me her friend
then why ignore my message and call?
It takes 2 to work in a relationship
friendship
What can I do if she doesn’t respond?

“You can still go to her house
try your luck
update her of what’s happening
You know I took months
Months!
To talk, message her
with updates of ourselves
coaxing her out
helping her
being there for her
Like when you were unemployed
and down
I still motivated you
to be successful.”

You were actually demeaning
more than motivating.

“No no
our other friends were being too nice to you
nobody told you the bad news
they said you would be ok
I was helping you
like you were helping me
in college
when you told me I must study hard
no matter how hard it was
Friends should tell each other the truth
even the hurtful things
because we want the best for you.”

What is best for me
that’s best for you?

“You also didn’t fight for me
you said you would
when T’s father called and messaged me
Where is T?
C said you didn’t even talk much!
It’s not fair for her
to expect me to lie for her
when she’s using my name
claiming she’s overnighting at my place
when she’s with her boyfriend!
What would her father think
if this blows out?!
I know her father
we had eaten meals before
do you think I can step into their home again?
and now T didn’t even want to answer my calls.”

“So let’s yamcha
we take this out.”

****************************

“So… Are you and S good?”

Actually?
No.

“She didn’t mean any harm
she was just feeling
that you neglected J
when people are alone and in pain
depressed, didn’t want to meet people
they need help
I wasn’t actually close to J before this
but after I visited her
I am closer to J than before.”

****************************

I am glad
that the 2 of you are together
being for Jeanie
I hope she’s happy in her marriage
that her husband had really changed for good
as he claimed to be before they got married
I hope she and her baby are happy and healthy
they will have abundance wherever they go.

I wished our friendship were different
strong enough to weather this change
of ideals in friendship
if you asked me would I change my actions
if I were to go back in time
I would go to warehouse sales
and not tell you
maybe I should broadcast my messages To J
Cc everyone
so that you know that I did care
I did hope that we would hang out
but that’s not who I am
I am not someone who like to tell everyone
what I did or didn’t do
not that I am saying that’s wrong of
whoever that tells everyone so
we are just different people
I am me, not you
You are you, not me
Can we accept that we are different
we see things differently
we experience different paths in life?
Can we meet up somewhere, sometime
drink coffee or tea, eat ice cream and fruits
read magazines, watch movies and laugh
like we used to?

Now I hear from you
you are going to get married
back to your boyfriend
I hope it’s the right decision
you’ll be happy
in love and loved.