* ROMANCE MATHEMATICS*
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
* OFFICE ARITHMETIC *
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
*SHOPPING MATH *
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.
* GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS *
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
* HAPPINESS *
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and
love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not
try to understand
her at all.
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men
are a lot more
willing to die.
* PROPENSITY TO CHANGE *
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and
*DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE *
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
* HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED *
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in
the ribs and
cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I
started doing the
same thing to them at funerals.
:D The last 1 is useful to prevent further enquiries about marital status. Keke kekekek!