Sam always ask, “What are the things that you want in life?”
“Mmm.. I want happiness, health, wealth.. success.”
Secretly, I wanted beauty too. Now I want peace and freedom too.
“So.. which one do you want – love or career?” she asked several times before.
“I want both! If possible.”
“Cannot. You can only have one.”
“Why must I choose only one and why can’t I have both?”
“You cannot be so greedy.”
This is not greedy. We can have all that we want *arms stretch wide* if we really want them and if we are honest in our lives. Life’s not about limitation. It’s a thinking condition.
Consider these statements:
- My parents had me before they were married and they are now divorced.
- A lot of married couples I know are having marriage troubles and always argue.
- I would divorce too if I get pregnant before marriage.
- If I get pregnant after marriage, I would not end up in divorce.
- Other people would get divorced if they get pregnant before marriage.
- If I were married, I would have marriage troubles & argue.
- All singles and unmarried couples do not have much argument.
- All singles and unmarried couples are happy.
How true are they?
It’s how you think. You own mind set condition these “truths”. Just because you had such experiences, it doesn’t mean that you would experience the same result if you try to do the same thing again. A lot of successful, brilliant scientists go through trial and error. Some of them designed new technologies because they tested every possibilities to rule out the workable situation. Countless entrepreneurs rise up after falling down from failed ideas.
Just because others had experienced it, it doesn’t mean that you would too. So push the negative thinking away and think positive before you find out, make your decision and stand!
You know I’m looking for job – a daytime permanent one – now. I have online business selling handmade and imported jewelleries as well as fragrances – they are gaining momentum. Yet, when I got offers, I turned them down believing that I was worth more than offered. That action could be viewed as stupid or discriminating.
Everytime I searched for jobs, I thought, “There wouldn’t be any job for me.”
Bad thinking. What good did it do to me?
So I read more blogs, websites, books on self-improvement, finances, career, new age, etc. Some of the books are so so *shrug*, some offer new insight and way of thinking.
All my life, from young till recently, I was quite pessimistic. I liked to think it was a Virgo trait and felt proud to be certified as a pessimist Virgo. It’s like a smoker puffing chest out because of smoking. It didn’t help that I had an even more timid mother and a father who scold more than encourage me.
When friends have problems or doubts, I would encourage them to be braver, try it, try it! Yet, sometimes when my friends suggested radical ideas, I would ask questions that may seem potong steam because I was an intellectual who thought from all angles before doing something. I think I react the opposite way mmm…
But I’m an adult now. I could blame them for not giving me enough opportunities to sharpen my talents or further my studies but I stress this – I’m an adult now. I take responsibilities for my actions now. So I didn’t get to take piano and art lessons even though I could play by ear and write the notes, colour with shadow and light when I was in primary school. I could take piano lessons or buy a (kiddie) piano to play at home. I could draw and paint during my free time. Heh, I am trying scrapbooking now.
When I was really stressed out from work, I used to think, “How good it would be if I fall sick? Then I can claim MC and stay at home. Others would know how useful I am at work when I’m not around and they have to do my work. Hmph!”
Little did I know, I was probably poisoning myself than the bad colleagues (and rude, demanding customers), chemicals released from computers and badly circulated air in office!
Stop being the victim. I realized that if I weren’t satisfied with something, speaking out was the best closure. It may not be the best solution but at least the air is clearer after that. Sometimes we deliberately hold a grudge because we like to think we are right, the other person is wrong. We like to hold on to gossip without finding out the truth because we are too lazy and scared! We like to blame others for our misfortunes, we have nothing to do with our problems.
Whether we like it or not, the way we handle things coming our way – they are our issues. Someone maybe ordering you to get coffee for him/her but you don’t like it. Yet you still get the coffee for him/her. Sure, you may grumble a bit loudly or smile weakly. In the end, you still do it. You are confirming that it is OK for him/her to order you about. It’s like training dog. When Sparky barks loudly as you eat, if you give a bit of your food to Sparky just to shut him up, Sparky would bark again the next time you eat or not because Sparky thinks that barking would get reward.
I thought I would work my hardest when I hit rock bottom – before I hit rock bottom of course. Then I really hit rock bottom. No worries, as pessimistic as I was, I didn’t think of suicide. :D
So I had to find alternate ways to find abundance.
A lot of books offer thinking positive, visualizing the outcome and you’ll get the benefits. Hypnotize yourself before you sleep and after you wake up when you are relaxed. Your thoughts, prayers and dreams are absorbed into the subconscious.
If you have a problem, try asking this before you sleep, “Please show me the signs to help me with this (problem).”
Note any dreams or ideas that come out of nowhere.
When I was feeling restless, I so wanted to run 10 blocks and the blood in my legs were itching, I said to myself silently, “What should I do to help me with this?”
I dreamt I took pictures of my artwork – some droolings in blue.
At that time I didn’t own any digital camera but I started to sketch again. It was at the back of my mind – I knew and I wanted to restart my hobby in art yet I procastinated, thinking “Later lah. When I’m successful, rich and have lots of free time.”
Now, you may counter, “Think positive. You’ll be successful, rich and have lots of free time soon.”
Yes. But we also must take actions to make the “successful, rich and have lots of free time” come true. If you wished you would become a millionaire by striking lottery, you also must buy a lottery ticket in the first place!
I believe what we give out, we would get it back. It may not come in the same form or from the same person. It may in the next few minutes or a few years later. But there’s a circle. 1 day you maybe scorning the cleaner for being slow and dirty while 10 years down the road, you are opening the door to the cleaner who is now a hotel owner. You maybe thinking how hard it is to part with RM1 just to buy a small packet of tissue from the blind. 2 weeks later, you get the news that your father’s eye operation was a success.
If you have things that you do not need or use, it’s better to give them out – sell, donate, give as present or recycle them. Then you’ll have more space to bring in stuff that you need at the moment.
For years, I kept Vogue, Cosmopolitan and other fashion magazines – some dated back to 1980’s and 1990’s. I also had lots of NKOTB, ‘N Sync, Independence Day, Winona Ryder and other celebrities posters! I didn’t want to throw them away, I told my parents every year during Spring clean before CNY. “I want to open a bookshop next time! Then I can sell my old magazines!” I even had to buy a cupboard and several plastic boxes from Giant to store the magazines.
The bookshop would have all types of books and magazines of my interests. All my readers and customers from young to mature, rich and poor, abled and challenged would be wowed and they would bask in glow whenever they discover my merchandize!
I finally changed my mind. It just hit me. I have no idea when I would open a bookshop – it takes LOTS of $$$, time and resources to start a business. The books and magazines were gathering dust and occupying a lot of space.
So I checked my cupboard one fine day and took out story books and magazines. Besides, there’s bound to be someone who would enjoy reading them as much as I did. I cleaned up 1/3 for donation and a week later, SomeKindOfGrass called me, “Hey, I have some magazines don’t want. You want to read?”
“Sure! Do you want it after I read it?”
“Don’t want lar. You do whatever with it la.”
:D Those magazines were only a few months old.
When you think and view things positively, you’ll notice people’s actions towards you also change. Maybe it was because previously you were so occuppied with finding faults of others that you didn’t notice their virtues. Maybe both of you are being the best you can be.
Still, if a person abuses, uses, takes advantage of you – take NO for an answer. You must protect yourself, grow yourself into a healthy person. In mind, body and spirit.
You have all the abundance in the world. You just need to know how to access it and use it wisely. Who says you have to choose? Say you are shopping and you fall in love with a gadget. You test it and you really want it. Yet your mind think, “The money is better spent on monthly household expenses or charity.”
If you have more than enough (after expenses, a lot of savings and money coming in), you can have it! You can divide your $ for essentials and once in awhile, indulgences. You don’t have to be a millionaire to do this! It’s a matter of how much you save, what you spend on.
Try it. Believe wholeheartedly that you’ll get what you want sincerely. Pray for it when you are going to sleep and after you wake up. Tell yourself positive things specifically like “I am beautiful, successful (like Betty)” “I treat everyone with respect and love.”
Be grateful for what you already have and would be given.
You may get more than you ask for. Good or bad.